The worst thing about me is that I push people away when I’m in pain. I push them away when I need them the most. I push them away until I can’t take it anymore—until I burst and that’s just when I let them in. I don’t know why I’m like this. Maybe because I don’t want to burden them with my problems especially when I know that they have their own dilemmas to think about. I want to show them that nothing’s wrong, I’m happy, contented, and that if ever I have problems I can solve them on my own. I’m the type of girl that keeps her problems all by herself, ‘til that day comes that she couldn’t take it anymore, and she doesn’t have any choice left but to tell someone about it. I’m weird. I have unresolved issues and I don’t even know how to fix them. I’m trying, I’m taking baby steps. I know in the end it will all be worth it.


be oh :)
HAHAHAHAHAHA. ILOVEYOU
May kilala akong ganito, iih. <3
Wala, ganun talaga. HAHA.
Rebel Wilson plays Jennifer Lawrence’s sister (x)
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I think I need sometime alone. No internet, No phone, No people around me. I think I need sometime for myself. I need to think.
I don’t know if I can do it, but I’ll try. I could live a day without the internet, but I don’t know if I can live a day without my phone. Hmm. I’m not gonna tell you I’m planning on doing this, hahaha. I just feel like spending a day alone and not talking to you. I don’t know. Space?
Love. One of the most wanted feelings one could ever asked for. Love, no matter how pleasing it may sound provides not only joy but also, deep sorrow. When you love, expect to cry, expect to get hurt and expect to be in pain. That’s how love works. Love is not just about cloud nine moments,…
Well said. :)
I guess there are certain things which mom and I don’t agree with. Simple things. Just simple things, which usually turn into fights, potentially hating each other and probably cursing each other deep inside. No matter what I do, or how much I try to be good and optimistic about everything, there will always be that ONE THING that could ruin her mood and make it seem like what I said was wrong. Maybe mom and I just have different views on certain things. Like, how I think there was nothing wrong with what I said, and of course, being so “sensitive”, she would go on telling me how “suplada” I am with what I said, to think I said those words without meaning to piss her off. Why would I piss her off? Okay, maybe I’m really the “suplada” type, but that’s how I am and I still believe that there’s nothing wrong with what I said. She’s just being so sensitive. I hate how she acts as if she doesn’t even know me. As if almost 20 years of being my mom isn’t enough for her to understand how I really am.
Ever since my summer vacation started, sleeping at 4 am became a habit. I could actually stay up longer, but because I’m a heavy sleeper and I actually hate waking up at around 12 pm-1 pm in the afternoon, I force myself to sleep at 4 am. So you might be asking what keeps me up til 4 am. Haha. Umm, trust me, you don’t wanna know. Hahaha no, actually, I think I’m pretty much just like you guys out there, who doesn’t have anything worthwhile as a hobby. I just watch movie to kill time, blog, tweet, and..yeah. Play Sims 3, just like the old times. Oh, I also read books and sometimes download stuff from the internet like ebooks, songs, and all that. OH, and..of course. What really keeps me up ‘til 4 am is…okay. Scratch that. It’s a WHO, not a WHAT. You know what I mean. My body clock kinda changed because of him. I don’t really mind. I feel really bad everytime I don’t get to say good night and sleep in the middle of a really nice conversation. So, to make it up to him..I decided to wait til he feels sleepy. HAHAHA okay, Enough of that shit. I don’t really know why it took me this ^ amount of words as an “introduction”. Yes, it’s just an introduction. Maybe I really have a lot going on inside my head right now and I couldn’t help but type even the most irrelevant detail there is to type.
Soo, the MAIN POINT of this blog entry was about my nightmare. So I slept at 4 am earlier, then I woke up at around 5:50 ‘cause I forced myself to wake up and get away from that nightmare. So my nightmare was sort of a horror movie actually. So, my dream all happened inside my house, and I was with my mom and brother. It was night time, and it was raining outside I think, plus most of the lights were off since it’s night time so it was really scary. Then we noticed that every hour, we receive text messages saying that one of our relatives were dead. Then we were really scared and we were panicking and crying. Then it came to a point when all of our relatives/family were dead, except one. It was dad. So we were kinda worried and we prayed real hard and then it happened, we got a text message saying that dad met an accident, then we got another text message, saying that my boy was dead and I didn’t know what to do I kept on crying and I convinced myself that it was all just a dream and I should wake up. I kept on telling myself that and finally, I WOKE UP. Thank God, it was all just a dream. I woke up in tears, and I couldn’t help but sob a bit more when I realized how bad my nightmare was. So I prayed hard, asking Him not to let something like that to happen in real life. I also texted him, I told him I had a nightmare and to take care of himself always. I forced myself to sleep after crying, but I guess I slept after 30 mins of just staring up at the ceiling, pondering on all the things that “happened”. If there’s one thing that I realized about my nightmare, it’s that I should cherish every moment I spend with my loved ones, ‘cause I would never know when He would decide to take their lives away.
